the best possible compliment u can give a girl is to call her a goddess like heck yeah man i will get jealous and kill mortals who are cuter than me and inadvertently cause like 3 world wars when i get bored and i will wear billowing robes of woven nebulae with eyeliner as sharp and obsidian as Krono’s sickle and burn alive the unworthy flesh of any man who dares to gaze upon my true form
this oatmeal has god damn dinosaur eggs in it and then when you cook it THE DINOSAURS FUCKIN HATCH IM SO PUMPED
"Are u ok?" "Im just tired"
T alkin about seinfeld
I nterested in briefcases
R eally sick of income tax
E ntering the puppet demsion
"…yea just tired"
dont let the hemsworths fool you australian boys are NOT cute or nice theyre all ratty as fuck and gross and they WILL try to steal ur wallet ok
it’s true I’ve already stolen 3 wallets today
Jennifer returned to filming an Oscar winner. Do you treat her differently? (x)
I’ve been laughing for three years over the fact that in ye old England you could chose to have ‘trial by cake’ in which you ate a piece of cake and if you choked you were guilty and if you didn’t you were innocent, and the only time it was used the guy on trial fucking choked and was executed for it